Yesterday, the ladies set up Li Meng on a date. Today, the boys have their turn to talk.
Arsenik of the Hulder
Barium of the Vi
Setting: The log cabin’s dining room. There’s a plate of flatbread, a bowl of fried spider legs, and a bottle of wine on the table.
Barium: So, how are we doing tonight? Please eat up. Drink and be merry tonight, hahaha!
[Gao and Wu exchange a look.]
Gao: Ah, no.
Wu: It’s okay.
Arsenik: Yes, let’s not coax them into anything unhealthy.
Barium: Who’s doing that? I’m just trying to get them to relax. Let’s make this fun.
Arsenik: Tell us a little about your hobbies. What do you two like to do for fun?
Gao: … We do not do same thing.
Wu: I play basketball, he does less athletic things.
Gao: Tai chi is athlete.
Wu: … In a different way.
Arsenik: Tai chi?
Barium: What is that? It sounds interesting.
Gao: It is ancient practice of-
Wu: It is about energy.
Gao: Yes qi.
Wu: And you move it.
Barium: Oh, I see. Yes, I completely understand. So, do either of you have any other talents?
Wu: English. Oh, and this.
[He bends the fingers of his hands right back.]
Barium: Neat. That must make you popular with the ladies.
Arsenik: Assuming a woman’s greatest priority in a man is his flexibility.
Barium: It helps. It really depends on what you’re looking for. Anyway, I don’t want to keep you two for long. I’m sure you rather spend the holidays doing something else. So, I just have one more question for you. It’s an important one. Are you ready?
Arsenik: I’m sure he’s as ready as he’ll ever be.
Barium: What is that thing on your face? I can’t figure it out. Is it some kind of fashion statement?
Wu: My… glasses? I need them if that’s what you mean.
Barium: Not sure what you need them for, but that’s all right. I’ll ask you about them some other time. Let’s see each other again when the holidays are over, and thank you both for coming all the way here.
Arsenik: You’re cutting the interview a little short, aren’t you, Your Majesty?
Barium: I know, I know. But I’m sure they’re in a hurry to get back to their loved ones and all. And you don’t want to keep cute girls like Kaitlyn and Li Meng waiting for too long.
Arsenik: A fine point. Truth be told, I am eager to see how Miss Ambrosia is faring.
Barium: So, let’s wrap things up and send them on their way.
TO BE CONTINUED…
On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…
5 Spider Legs