Yesterday, Ambrosia and Wildfire had a cup of coffee with the earl, his wife, and their maid. Today, there’s a rich lady, twins, and a janitor.
Ambrosia of the Phoenix
Barium of the Vi
Wildfire of the Valkyrie
Onyx of the Vi
Setting: A log cabin with a roaring fire and two couches facing each other.
Note: If you see a sentence in italics, it is that person’s thoughts. Not to be confused with titles (i.e. Twelve Days of Christmas) and italicized actions, which are in brackets.
Barium: Welcome to the Twelve Days of Christmas interview series! I’m glad you could all be here. I hope everyone’s comfortable. Can I get you anything to eat or drink?
[Even if the couch is spacious, it looks like the Charlatans quartet is squished together. On the right corner is Sabine, then follows his sister, Priam. On the left corner is Virgil, carrying his broom, and, in the little space between Priam and Virgil, there is Karon with an unpleasant face.]
Priam: Wine. A good one if your heart allows.
Sabine: Wine too! A bottle for each.
Virgil: …We took a three hours long trip to reach this cabin just for them to destroy our first good impression in a matter of seconds.
Karon: A glass of Ale for me.
Priam: Ale? I was hoping a more refined paladar from you, Karon.
Karon: What’s wrong with Ale?
Virgil: I would like some water, please. Someone needs to get out sober from this interview. And thank you for inviting us.
Barium: Not at all. It’s my pleasure. Onyx.
[Onyx, a man suited in black armor from head to toe, appears at the doorway on the far wall.]
Barium: Bring our fine guests their heart’s desires.
Wildfire: I’m starting to think you shouldn’t be in charge of introductions.
Barium: Nonsense. I make things fun. Oh, by the way, this feisty woman on my left is Wildfire of the Valkyrie. And this lovely lady on my right is Ambrosia of the Phoenix.
Ambrosia: Pleased to make your acquaintance.
Barium: As for me, I’m Barium, king of the Vi, while the one with your drinks is my kinsman, Onyx.
[As if right on cue, Onyx reappears with a tray that carries everyone’s requests, and he sets it on the table nestled between the couches. As Barium speaks, Onyx proceeds to pour out the drinks into glasses and extend them to the guests personally.]
Barium: Please have as much as you’d like. There’s plenty of drinks to go around. Now then, why don’t all of you tell us about your plans for the holidays?
[Karon, Sabine and Virgil still seem to be surprised by the dark swordman’s presence…]
Priam: That’s rude, guys. Stop staring at the lad.
Virgil: T-Thanks for the drinks. *cough*
Sabine: Ah, Christmas is near right?
Karon: Pfft-Christmas! What a pain…Parties! Banquets! Winter balls! All this overly festive people wandering aimlessly in the streets.
Priam: ...Oh please, shut up.
Virgil: That actually sounds thrilling.
Karon: It could be thrilling, yes. But I can’t stand anyone that invited me.
Sabine: Well, you can always come to my tent. I don’t have a party or a banquet to offer, but we will have duck this year, hahaha.
Priam: Duck! I don’t even remember when was the last time we ate that. Good job, brother! I’m starting to like that show of yours a little bit more.
Virgil: But it’s not duck season…Better not break Sabine’s enthusiasm, though.
Karon: Stupid charlatan, it’s not duck season.
Sabine: …Look at this missy underestimating someone way older than her. I know it’s not duck season, that’s why I bought duck three months ago.
Karon: ! That must be rotten!
Priam: …Wait, where did you hide that duck? I’ve hadn’t heard a single “quack” in all these three months.
Sabine: Inside a trunk? Like mom used to do.
Priam: Oh…I remember THAT trunk…
Virgil: I’m not sure how is that possible, but when it comes to cooking Sabine is the best.
Karon: Hmm…………I will consider your offer. I’m curious if what Virgil says is true or is just his awful taste speaking for him.
Sabine: Come and find out for yourself. Aha! I can’t wait to see you eat those mean words along my perfectly glazed duck.
Sabine: Of course, you are all invited to my tent if you bored of everything as m’lady here.
Ambrosia: Oh, that’s very kind of you to offer, Sir Sabine.
Barium: Hmm…we don’t actually have Christmas back on Virgo Island. I would be interested to see what it’s like.
Ambrosia: As would I – just as long as we aren’t imposing. If you need any help preparing anything, I would be more than happy to lend a hand.
Wildfire: You guys are kind of weird, but sure. It’s free food. Let’s see how good you are at cooking.
Ambrosia: I have no doubt that he is as skilled as Sir Virgil claims him to be.
Barium: Oh? I don’t know if he’ll be able to beat you.
Ambrosia: You flatter me! But, truly, if this were a competition, I would be a poor rival. I wouldn’t stand a chance against his fearsome ability.
Wildfire: I know you’re having fun flirting with Sabine and all, but what does this have to do with the interview?
Ambrosia: Eh? Lady Wildfire, please don’t misrepresent my intentions. I was only being honest.
Barium: All right, all right. We’ll talk about what we have to do later. Now then, do all of you have someone special to spend Christmas with?
[Sabine kept silent and carefully listened to them, looking at the side with a faint blush. It’s clear that he doesn’t get many people to praise him.]
Sabine: Thank you for your kindness, m’lady. I hope someday you will join me in my humble kitchen.
Priam: Oh my, oh my! Blushing like a little boy, aren’t you too cute?
[Priam takes a long sip of her glass of wine.]
Sabine: S-shut your trap!
Karon: Ugh, what a simple man.
Virgil: Pardon them. Sometimes they are like children.
Priam: …Now, take that back. It’s disrespectful to make fun of your elders.
Virgil: Priam, it’s not the place to sta-
Priam: That sounds nowhere near an apology.
Virgil: You…How can I see you as an elder when you keep throwing child tantrums like that?
Barium: I don’t know. Priam’s kind of sexy when she’s mad.
Sabine: Guys, don’t raise your voice…
Karon:……………………………….I don’t have anyone special, he died.
[There’s a moment of silence.]
Ambrosia: Oh my…
Sabine: What? Your boyfriend died?
[There’s another moment of silence.]
[After saying that, Karon pours her eyes into Sabine. If glares could kill they say…]
Priam: I know you loved your father, Karon. But what Mr. Barium meant was someone special, like a lover. It could be friends and family, yes. But I don’t think anyone of us have someone that special who is still alive.
Karon: You don’t…
Karon: Nevermind. They will never understand…
Priam: ? As for me, I don’t have someone like that.
Sabine: Are you trying to say WE are not special to YOU?
Priam: Sure, brother, I hold you dear in my heart…In some place, in some corner, there should be.
Virgil: And what about me?
Sabine: I see, that’s good. For you to know, I hold you dear, sister. Every time I see that ugly stain in the ceiling of my room, I remember you. Like “Oh boy! That thing looks like Priam when she smiles with her crooked lips.”
Priam:… We are being creative I see.
Karon: What about you, Virgil? Don’t let this fools rob your place with their meek fights.
Sabine: He clearly has but, sadly, is such a BLAND WOMAN.
[Sabine said that while looking at Priam. She frowns and looks away from her brother.]
Karon: What a waste of a man. You are not particularly handsome, but at least you have this impressive stature you could use as an advantage. Yet, when it comes to things like this you go “Mmmm-me?” …It’s said “me”! “ME”! Don’t go stuttering like that if you want a wife. Seriously…”Mmme”, “Mmm-me.” What’s that?!
[Karon tries to replicate Virgil’s deep voice with her rough one…]
[…while Virgil’s face gets violently red.]
Sabine: Now, Karon…He is fine like that. There are only monks and nuns in my tent hahaha!
Karon: Huh? What’s that supposed to mean?
Priam: …Aren’t you too old to brag about your virginity?
[At that, Ambrosia’s face colors.]
Sabine: Just saying, I’m not alone in the path of purity.
[He said that while finishing his glass of wine, then taking the bottle which Onyx placed on the table and carelessly pouring more into his glass.]
Karon: H-how vulgar! To talk about this in front of our host!
Virgil: I-I have a family. I have my dear sisters and my parents which I love deeply.
Virgil: But, right now, if you ask me who I would like to spend Christmas with, I would say I want to be with these two, with Priam and Sabine. They are very precious to me.
[Both twins are looking at Virgil. There are almost tears in their eyes…]
Sabine: Well, d…Virgil, my friend, I’m so touched.
Sabine: Haha, what is it? Are you upset he didn’t mention you?
Virgil: Even with your sharp tongue, you are a dear friend too, Karon. I hope you join us this year.
Karon: Yeah, I knew that already…
[…She actually didn’t, but she was glad he considered her one.]
Ambrosia: The friendship you have for one another truly warms my heart.
Barium: Yes. I think I’m going to let all of you go, so you can enjoy the holidays. But first, let’s each make a toast.
[He takes up an empty glass on the table. Onyx walks over to fill it with wine.]
Barium: Don’t forget to give a glass to each to the ladies as well.
Ambrosia: Ah, there’s no need, Your Majesty. I shall be perfectly content with water.
Barium: That’s no fun but all right. Whatever the lady desires.
Ambrosia: Sir Onyx, you’ll be joining us for a toast as well, won’t you?
Onyx: Did you want me to?
Wildfire: Whoa, he talks.
Ambrosia: You are very welcome to join us, Sir Onyx. It wouldn’t be right to exclude you.
Barium: Go on, Onyx. Grab a glass for yourself. Now then, I’ll start it off.
Priam: Oh great! More wine. Thank you for inviting us. This was really fun.
Sabine: Thank you for everything, kind ladies, good-hearted sir. Mr. Onyx, the wine was best I’ve ever tried in a while, thank you.
Virgil: …I suspect this might be our last interview. Well, I regret nothing. I’m as grateful as them, thank you for your patience and time.
Karon: Thanks. The Ale was excellent. My best regards to the alewife.
Virgil: ! Can’t you all be less obvious on how much you liked the alcohol?
[The charlatan quartet makes a fancy reverence to their hosts, then they proceed with the toast.]
On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…
10 Bottles of Wine