Yesterday, the ladies talked about setting up Li Meng on a date. This is the result.
Ambrosia of the Phoenix
Wildfire of the Valkyrie
Night of the Vi
Onyx of the Vi
Setting: The living room of the log cabin.
Ambrosia: Lady Wildfire, are you sure this is such a good idea?
Wildfire: Of course it is. Who doesn’t want a date with the monster of Virgo Island? Anyway, Meng, this is Onyx. Your date.
Kaitlyn: Hahaha! At least he beats my first date. Only just.
Meng: Nice to meet you?
Kaitlyn: Ask him to remove his mask.
Meng: Is that a custom?
Kaitlyn: I don’t know. Hey, remove your mask so my friend can see you.
Onyx: I’m not wearing a mask. Are you referring to my helmet?
Onyx: Is it necessary to remove it?
Ambrosia: No, no, not at all. Not if it makes you uncomfortable. Isn’t that right, Lady Li Meng?
Meng: I don’t want to make him have the uncomfortable.
Kaitlyn: Who cares if he’s uncomfortable? You can’t expect to have a date wearing a helmet? Sheesh, you’re more clueless than Gao and that guy has no idea how to date.
Wildfire: Well, we could make it like a mystery thing. See if they hit it off, and if they do, she can make him remove his helmet.
Ambrosia: If he should feel so inclined, of course.
Wildfire: Or even if he isn’t inclined or whatever.
Kaitlyn: No way. On behalf of my friend, why would she want to date someone if she can’t see how ugly they are? She needs to know before she wastes the time with him.
Meng: But I don’t want to date?
Wildfire: Hmm…Ambrosia, you’ve seen his face before, haven’t you? What did you think of him?
Ambrosia: He has a lovely personage.
Wildfire: Never mind. You think everyone’s lovely.
Ambrosia: But if Lady Meng isn’t interested in being set up with someone –
Wildfire: Okay. If he’s not going to take off his helmet, we’ll just switch him out. Who do you want? The smiler or the king? Or, I guess, Arsenik. But I’m serious. He’s just going to pine after Ambrosia if you pick him.
Kaitlyn: Ooh! I get to choose? This is great. It’s almost like a dating sim, where Meng gets no say of her own on her future romantic choices.
Kaitlyn: Which one of those other options is the best looking?
Wildfire: Huh…Ambrosia, who would you say is the best looking? As in, beats the others. I really want to see you put someone down for once.
Ambrosia: Oh, no, but they’re all attractive in their own way.
Wildfire: Right. Okay. Well, I’d say either the smiler or Arsenik. But it depends on your taste really. You like long hair or short hair? Brunette or blonde?
Kaitlyn: The real question is what will annoy her parents the most.
Kaitlyn: Fine. Give her the smiler. Meng smiles a lot. That would mean they have something in common, right?
Wildfire: They sure would. But you sure you don’t want to annoy her parents? That sounds fun.
Ambrosia: Lady Wildfire, please!
Wildfire: All right, all right. Get out of here, Onyx.
Onyx: You don’t need me to do anything?
Ambrosia: Forgive us for troubling you, Sir Onyx.
[Half an hour later…]
Ambrosia: Lady Wildfire….this time, I really don’t think this is a good idea.
Wildfire: Oh, hush. So, Kaitlyn, Meng, this is Night.
Night: Hello there.
Kaitlyn: I thought he was the smiler?
Meng: Ah, nice to meet you?
Night: It’s good to meet you – Li Meng, was it? Apparently, they introduced me as the smiler.
Wildfire: Because you smile a lot. You’re smiling right now.
Night: It’s an amusing situation. I look forward to getting to know you, Li Meng.
Kaitlyn: Eee! My girl is going on a date! I feel so proud right now.
Meng: OK? I like to smile too.
Night: Heh. I see. What else do you like to do?
Ambrosia: Lady Wildfire, don’t you think they should know –
Wildfire: Shh! Just watch.
Kaitlyn: She will kick your butt at pool. That’s what she likes to do!
Meng: And I like the movies in English.
Kaitlyn: Yeah, and that boring stuff.
Night: Hmm…I’ve been hearing a lot about this “English.” That isn’t a term we use on Virgo Island. Why don’t you show me one of these movies in English, Li Meng?
Kaitlyn: I’ll get you some R-rated ones. Because I’m a good friend.
Meng: You are very good friend. So, is this a date?
Night: It’s whatever you want to call it. Are the rest of you ladies joining us?
Kaitlyn: I think it’d be better for everyone if I go along. For one, Meng won’t know what to do. For another thing, who knows what kind of creep you are when you’re alone with someone?
Ambrosia: I shall be accompanying as well because I do not trust you, Sir Night.
Night: Hehe. I’m not sure what kind of impression I’m giving off, but I wouldn’t do anything she didn’t want. But suit yourself. Let’s see these R-rated things. Is there a reason it’s given the rating ‘R’?
Kaitlyn: Ew, no. I’m not watching anything like that with Meng and her date. Like, uncomfortable much? What do you want to do on your date Meng?
Meng: I don’t know. I guess, go out?
Night: Let’s take a walk then. But it’s rather cold out. Did you bring a coat?
Kaitlyn: Oh, how romantic. I give him plus one points so far in his dating grade, which he will receive at the end of the night.
Meng: Do you always grade on dates?
Kaitlyn: If you’re smart you do. And then you let everyone know how it went by posting the grade up on the internet. That way people will know if there’s any point dating the guy you had a date with.
Meng: But I am having the date with him.
Kaitlyn: Yes, but if he’s bad wouldn’t you want to spare other girls from the experience?
Night: Well, that isn’t a lot of pressure.
Wildfire: And yet, you’re still smiling about it.
Night: Because it’s funny. But that’s fine. I’ll lend you my coat if you didn’t bring one, Li Meng.
Kaitlyn: And that’s another point to your tally.
Meng: Thank you?
Night: You’re very welcome.
Setting: Outside the log cabin!
Wildfire: Just how long do you think this whole date should be?
Kaitlyn: Yeah, I’ve got places to be. Just kiss her and get it over with, Night.
Meng: …! No!
Ambrosia: That really would be improperly forward.
Night: Whatever she wants. Why don’t I just do this? Li Meng, may I have your hand?
Meng: My… hand? Why?
Kaitlyn: You’re probably going to have to explain it to her. In detail.
Night: If I did that, that would ruin the surprise. Here.
[He reaches out a hand to pat Li Meng softly on the head.]
Night: I had a good time with you tonight. Let’s do this again some time.
Kaitlyn: Hmmm… he’s okay. That pat on the head was kind of weird but at least it’s better than some of my worst dates. I give him a 3.5 out of 5. Maybe he can do better next time.
Night: So, there will be a next time.
Ambrosia: Perhaps, perhaps not. I do not know when we will have occasion to visit their world again.
Night: You’ve been silently disapproving of us all evening, haven’t you? I hope you aren’t jealous.
Ambrosia: Please do not mistake my feelings for that of jealousy. You know full well the opinion I hold of you.
Night: I sure do.
Wildfire: Okay, we’ve been out here long enough. Let’s head back and see what the rest of the boys are doing.
TO BE CONTINUED…
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…
4 Date Nights