Last week, Barium and Wind went to the Sweet and Spices bakery, where they discovered many sweet and not-so-sweet things. This time, let’s take a look at KONOL Games’s Banality Man.
The Let’s Players
Ambrosia of the Phoenix
Wildfire of the Valkyrie
A fiery, strong-willed warrioress of the Valkyrie. Another protagonist of War: 13th Day and a major character in War (X Playing Pieces).
Wildfire: Great. It’s another one of these.
Wildfire: Whoa. What’s with the singing?
Ambrosia: He must be rather popular to have a song written about him. A true legend.
Wildfire: For having…banality. Okay, moving on…
Wildfire: I don’t know who any of these people are. What’s ‘esc’?
Ambrosia: It’s quite a mystery. Let’s hope that all will be revealed in time.
Ambrosia: Oh my…that’s terrible.
Wildfire: To have a name like ‘Bureaucracy’? Sure is.
Ambrosia: Losing one’s parents is terribly tragic, Lady Wildfire.
Wildfire: Especially to someone called Bureaucracy. Seriously, what kind of a name is that?
Ambrosia: I only wish he would reconsider the use of his fists.
Wildfire: You don’t know what the premise of this game is, do you? Heh. This might actually turn out interesting.
Wildfire: This pharmy boy won’t give the old biddy her prescription. Oh, boo-hoo.
Ambrosia: I’m very sorry to hear that. Surely, we can find some sort of resolution?
Wildfire: We sure can. What do you want to do, Ambrosia? Punch Bureaucracy or that woman’s health problems?
Ambrosia: Oh, neither!
Wildfire: Too bad. Not an option. You’ll have to choose somebody to punch. So, who’s the lucky chump?
Ambrosia: I think this may be a proper time…for a tactical retreat.
Wildfire: Nuh-uh. I’m not letting you escape that easily. Pick something or we’ll just stare at the screen all day.
Ambrosia: A-Ah…well…I don’t believe in vengeance, and I would really much rather settle things peacefully with Sir or Lady Bureaucracy.
Wildfire: So, you want to punch the poor old lady?
Ambrosia: Maybe he only means to…to punch her health problems away – without dealing any actual harm to her.
Wildfire: How’s that supposed to work?
Wildfire: She has a case of the wiggins – whatever that is – and he wants more details. Seems like we’re punching her after all.
Ambrosia: Oh, please don’t, dear Sir Banality Man!
Wildfire: Blah blah blah – her wiggins thing started when her husband died, which also made her daughter start acting up.
Wildfire: All right. Who do you want to punch now, Ambrosia? My vote goes to the daughter. She sounds like she needs a good punching to set her straight.
Ambrosia: I would really like to make a tactical retreat.
Ambrosia: With how eager you are to make a choice, I’m a little surprised you haven’t already, Lady Wildfire.
Wildfire: I want to see what a priss like you would pick. So, come on. We don’t have all day. You want to punch a dead guy, a little girl, or an old woman?
Ambrosia: Her name is Lady Breda, Lady Wildfire.
Wildfire: So, you want to punch the Lady Breda?
Ambrosia: Oh, no, no, I didn’t say that.
Wildfire: You sure? It sounds like you did. If you don’t give me another answer in five seconds, I’m choosing Grandma.
Ambrosia: T-The husband!
Wildfire: Wow, don’t you have any respect for the dead? Thought you were raised better than that.
Ambrosia: Between that and making the living suffer, what other choice did I have?
Wildfire: Don’t be so serious, Ambrosia.
Wildfire: See? This is fun. Oh, and in case we’re moving too fast for you slowpokes, Grandma dug up Grandpa for the superhero wanna-be to use as a punching bag.
Ambrosia: He’s hoping to reanimate his corpse.
Wildfire: By using it as a punching bag. Thanks a lot, Ambrosia.
Wildfire: See what you did? Now, all he can say is “Blurt!”
Ambrosia: Oh my goodness…
Wildfire: Grandma’s piping mad and wants Banality Man to put him back to normal or he’s in for it.
Wildfire: Banality Man needs your help, Ambrosia.
Ambrosia: You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?
Wildfire: Maybe a little bit. What can I say? You’re real laughable.
Ambrosia: Well…let us make a sacrifice, then.
Wildfire: Not surprising. Let’s see if it works.
Ambrosia: Oh, dear!
Wildfire: Well, there goes his head. He’s giving his brain to Grandpa Zombie.
Ambrosia: You are noble, Sir Banality Man…
Wildfire: Not really. He only did it because you told him to. So, him dying is really all your fault.
Wildfire: You go, Ambrosia.
Ambrosia: …At the very least, we have the good fortune of knowing our run-through is over.
Wildfire: I like this ending song better than what first showed up. I don’t know what the woman’s crowing about, but it sounds good.
Wildfire: Now, Grandma has to shoot Grandpa Zombie to put him out of his undead misery, and then, she cries into a glass of something red. Maybe it’s Grandpa’s blood.
Ambrosia: I believe it’s a certain brand of firewater.
Wildfire: Look at what you made poor Granny do.
Ambrosia: I must say, I didn’t expect Sir Banality Man to have such an…such an active story.
Wildfire: Makes things interesting at least. From what I hear, Barium and Wind just visited a bakery.
Ambrosia: I think a bite of something sweet would’ve been just lovely.
Wildfire: Well, don’t feel too bad. Next time, you’ll be headed somewhere new. With Night.
Ambrosia: Pardon me?
Wildfire: For now, I’m out of here. Unless you want to punch some more things.
Ambrosia: I believe you already know my answer. But about what you were saying –
Wildfire: Oh, so you do want to keep punching things. Why don’t we give Granny what’s coming to her then?
Ambrosia: Lady Wildfire, now you’re just willfully misunderstanding me!
Arsenik: By the way…
Wildfire: Whoa, what are you doing here? Heard your little damsel-in-distress crying out? Why are you still in your Ready, Set Parody! costume anyway?
Arsenik: I could say the same to you. Either way, I only meant to inform you that bureaucracy isn’t the name of a person.
Wildfire: An animal then?
Ambrosia: Oh dear, if it isn’t the name of a person, then I’ve made entirely the wrong choice!
Arsenik: Ah, I didn’t mean to alarm you, Miss Ambrosia! Please don’t feel that way. You haven’t erred at all.
Wildfire: Then, tell us what bureaucracy really is. Unless you’re just kicking up a fuss for nothing.
Arsenik: Bureaucracy…bureaucracy is a creature. Of sorts.
Ambrosia: Of sorts?
Arsenik: Yes, of sorts. Even though different from you and I, that will not make you think any less of this creature, will it?
Ambrosia: No…no, it would not.
Arsenik: Then, you can be at ease, Miss Ambrosia.
Wildfire: You are such a liar.
Arsenik: You say that like you know what bureaucracy really is and I’m sure you don’t.
Ambrosia: Come again? I didn’t quite catch what you said.
Arsenik: Please don’t worry about it, Miss Ambrosia. Believe me when I tell you that choosing the path of bureaucracy would have been just as bad – if not worse. Next time, I hope you will allow me the honor of choosing a game for you.
Ambrosia: Why, you aren’t suggesting that we play one together, are you?
Arsenik: Would you be so opposed to that?
Wildfire: You know what? Banality Man really needs to punch you both.
No fanart this time! It’s been a busy week, but there are still more surprises along the way. Keep up with them on my tumblr or twitter. While you’re at it, feel free to tell me what you thought about this Let’s Play.☺